#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 7 – We Got Married, y’all!!!

Soooooo call me Mrs I!!!!!!! It’s done and dusted, everyone. You cannot imagine how happy i am. The stress is finally over. I now get to live in a new house and now have a new name. Such a weird thing!!! Ok, about the wedding. Look, if i tell you that i don’t remember much, understand that i’m not lying. I sincerely do not remember much. Everything went by SO FAST!

The most memorable thing for me is the fact that i was in bed at 5pm on the day of the wedding. Look, it was straight up “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am” (Can you say this when you’re not talking about quick sex? I don’t know. Forgive me if i’ve used it wrong) Really just trying to say that i love that the ceremony and reception were straight to the point.

Yay! Finally rounding up this series. It was fun, wasn’t it? The tears i cried during this planning process ehn… *deep sigh* I’m just glad it’s over. Thanks for staying with me through this. I don’t know that i could have done it without you all.

Honeymoon tahm!!! Hello Barbados…

P.S.

Look out for the photo roundup. It’ll be the last post in this series 🙂

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 6 – My introduction

Yay! We’re almost there! I’m so happy. Like! I can’t tell you how happy i am. It’s officially just a few more weeks to the wedding and i’m soooo happy. LOL, not because i’m looking forward to being a “princess” like 80% of all right thinking females. It’s just because all this stress will soon be over. I’m GLAD.
Well, it was my introduction this past Saturday (August 2nd). Whoop! As most of you know, this is the day where the intended groom’s family come to officially state their purpose. I’m Yoruba, but raised igbo so this “occassion is called “Iku aka ekpe” literally meaning “first knocking” like knocking on a door. It signifies the first visit to a potential bride’s by her suitor and his family to lay down their intentions. This is usually done months before the wedding and even before any planning begins but my wedding is sort of “shotgun-y”…and NO, i’m not pregnant. You would not believe how many times i’ve had to answer that question. Ugh!
Back to the matter! So my boo and his family came in around noon-ish and started whatever it is they were doing, LOL. I don’t know because i was locked up in the bedroom and like and hour later, they called me out and asked me if i knew the handsome young man because he’d just asked for my hand in marriage and i was all like “oooooh yeah, i know him, that’s my booooooooooo, he’s so fiiiiineeee”. LOL, not really. I said a very shy “Yes” and that was my acceptance. So we went on to eat and drink and be jolly. All in all, it was a good day. 3 more weeks till i change my name!!! CAN.NOT.WAIT

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 5 – What’s grinding my gears?!?!

Hello everyone,

ASIDE: If by some stroke of luck, you happen upon this post, this is me apologizing for it being TWO YEARS LATE. Just forgive me please. I need to be caned. Reading it, i have no idea why i didn’t post it back then. I have no excuses so i will make none. Again, forgive me.

I’ve been away this long because i’ve just been OVERSTRESSED. Between work, wedding planning and sorting out my blended family, i’m just glad my blood pressure is stil normal. My hair’s been shedding a bit though, so you see, It’s hard!

I’ve been able to take a few hours off work to do the compulsory traipse of Balogun market too. That is a post of it’s own. I’m now, literally, the Queen of Balogun market. Like, i know where to buy George fabric, lace, ankara, coral beads, name it! LOL

Anyway, this post is about ish that’s grinding my gears so i’ll get right on to it

• I’m really frustrated with the people who i’ve invited to my wedding who go on to hit me with “I’m coming with my girlfriend o” Like STFU!!! I don’t know your dang girlfriend, son. And, if you insist, you’re uninvited. Eish! Why do people find it hard to understand that a Nigerian only wants to have close friends and family at their wedding?
• I absolutely hate how everyone has an opinion but they are not contributing a dime to the wedding. I can’t count how many times i’ve rolled my eyes or said STFU to an aunt (in my head). Heck, one even said to me “How can you have a guestlist? Are you telling me not to invite anybody from the village?” Erm, yes!
• How about the ones who ask me “How dare you say you want a small wedding?” In those exact words. LOL. I’m laughing but it really isn’t funny. Now i know i have self control. I held myself back from cussing a lot of people out. A lot of people! Everything takes me back to wishing my mother were here, i won’t have to deal with a lot of this crap, i know. Well…i’ll stop here. Maybe my next post will be happier.

Let’s ponder this…

AN AFFAIR

by Susan Sampson

An affair you say?
No, I would never let that come my way.

I love my man; my heart wouldn’t look to another.
My husband is the best; he’s my friend and lover.
My pride tells me that I could never commit adultery.
No, that would be awful; it simply isn’t me.

Then one day, the Lord revealed to me;
Just how unfaithful I could really be.

For my Maker is my husband,
the Lord Almighty is His name.
He loves me unconditionally
and wants from me the same.

He wants my soul, my body, mind, and heart.
He wants my WHOLE heart, not just a piece or part.

You are my number one, Lord;
I love you, I really do!
Of course I also love my husband;
So maybe you are number two.

And you see, Lord, I have three young children;
they really need me.
Okay, Lord, perhaps you are number three.
Well, who else is going to take care of all these chores?
I guess, Lord, you might be number four.
What about me, myself, and I?
Yes, it’s true; you are at least number five.

I can’t bear to go on; the list would be too long.
I thought that you were first in my heart;
Obviously, I was wrong.

Standing in my pride, I know I’m on shaky ground.
Oh, to be humbled; thank you Lord for bringing me down.
Down to a level where I can truly see;
What really is going on deep inside of me.

The truth of the matter is I love myself the most.
The Lord is not first in my heart;
He doesn’t come even close.
Therefore, I praise you Father with everything I can;
That even when you see my heart,
you love me just as I am.

I’m humbled by this amazing love;
Faithful, true, and pure.
His loving kindness draws me in;
Of this I can be sure.

What do I do now in response to a love of this kind?
The answer is clear:
Love my Lord with all my heart,
all my soul, and all my mind.

How is it now that I can heed this call?
I must die to myself and truly surrender all.
Then the Lord will have His rightful place;
As truly first in my heart, thanks to His amazing grace.

I’ve just read this poem by Susan Sampson and it got me thinking. How easy it is to cheat on God without even knowing we’re cheating on him. Imagine it. We’re cheating on him with the things He’s blessed us with. We, as the church, are the bride of Christ. This makes him our first husband, the one that should be most important to us. But somehow, we find a way to put everything else before Him. We put our husbands before Him, our work, our children, our socil life, everything andput him on the back burner. I’m so guilty of this. In this new year, i’m going to try to keep God first. Him and nothing else. Because i know if i manage to do this, everything else, my husband, my family, my work, my finances, my social life, EVERYTHING, will go beautifully. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

P.S.

Something else that hit me after reading that, if i can “cheat” on God, see how easy it might be to cheat on my partner? Without even knowing? Let’s think about this. Let’s talk about it.

Update!

Hello there,

I haven’t uploaded anything here in months and i apologize for leaving everything and everyone hanging, especially as i was in the middle of a series. Yes, i’m married now *big smile*. Married to the absolute best man in the world. The absolute best i tell you!
Anyway, before i move on to anything else (and trust me there’s PLENTY), i’ll make sure i finish the “#MyWeddingPlanningJourney” series. I have all these posts saved in my drafts that i wrote while still planning the wedding, full of emotion, some written while i was angry, and i’m glad i didn’t post them then. Lol. So in the next few days, i’m going to clean them up and post them. I hope you enjoy reading them.

P.S.
I also need to post ASAP just so this lady can stop harassing me. Ugh! Lol, luv you, Ore!
Till then

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 4 – The proposal

I haven’t posted as much as I would love to, just that i’ve been extremely busy with work and wedding planning. The stress is unbelievable! So let me publish this post i’ve had sitting in my drafts for a while now. It’s the proposal. Yay!

Let me start from the beginning.

I’ve been in a relationship with an amazing amazing (so good, i had to say it twice) man, we’ve been together for just over 2 years in this great great (so great i had to say it twice, LOL) friendship. He is my homie, like, leave the cliche, but he’s the true Clyde to my Bonnie. We have been through it! Laughs, FIGHTS, drama *rolls eyes* EVERYTHING! From the day we got together, he put forward his “manifesto” (LOL) and we began our journey. If i had nothing else to say about our relationship, i’d say this one thing. It has not been boring. We’ve been through some things I could definitely do without but i know this has worked well to bring us where we are now and i’m grateful to God.

A few months ago, we decided it was time to start planning the wedding in that “We know we are getting married anywayyyyy, let’s do it in September” way and i’d often ask “Are we engaged?” and he’d annoyingly answer, “No, i promised you marriage”. Like, “Ugh, what does that even mean???” So we told our families and started quietly planning. But through all this, for some reason, i wanted a formal proposal. Not for any novelty reason, but just so we wouldn’t just “fall” into the marriage. I don’t know if this makes sense. LOL, i do admit that a big reason i wanted a proposal was to hear Mr V (Let’s call him that, shall we?)tell me beautiful things and see if either of us would shed a tear or two. LOL. So, long story short, we were planning our wedding but we weren’t formally engaged. So weird. LOL.

Fast forward a couple months, we were in the UK, we’d been to the jewelers to see what kind of ring i liked. Mr V even tried to buy it on the spot, ya know, to get out of the cringiness of a proposal. LOOOOL, I wasn’t having that. “Mr man, you must propose utunu!” A few days later, almost midnight, indoors with his Dad, Mom, older sister and brother in law, discussing wedding plans, somehow the gist drifted to rings and his sis asked “Mr V, have you guys chosen rings?” and somehow amidst plenty laughter, my adorable homie/boyfriend/fiance poured out his heart, went on his knees and brought out of his pocket, this little black box that had in it the most beautiful half carat diamond, set in white gold. The exact ring i wanted. LOL, i didn’t cry, too cheesy, but i laughed hard. Because i was so ecstatic. And today, i pray that, in Jesus’ name, that laughter will never leave our lives. Amen.

LOL, so that’s that. The proposal.

P.S. There’s a video of this somewhere and i’ll put it up one of these days…maybe

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 3 – All the things i have to do

If you read my last post, you’ll know i was losing my mind. Fast forward a week, finally got a call from my venue that the date i wanted was now available. YAY!!! The other group didn’t pay so it was a GO! This news made me so so happy. That’s one less thing to worry about.

So here are all the things i have left to do…

• Alterations for my wedding dress + buying a veil and bridal belt
  At this point, let me mention that i don’t like the shoes i bought anymore. I bought a pair of silver sandals, low heeled, enough to be able to stand and dance in all day but i just don’t like them anymore. Now i need to find new shoes.
• Date for the introduction ceremony
  For this event, which is the official introduction of both families, we plan to have only immediate family around so i’m thinking 20 people max.
• My family’s list for the introduction ceremony
  Here, the bride’s family prepares a list of things for the groom’s family to bring as bride price. The list would usually consist of things like tubers of yam, clothes, jewellry, et cetera. When the list is ready, i promise to post it here. It is at the introduction ceremony that this list is presented to the groom’s family.
• Catering for the introduction ceremony
• Venue for the traditional wedding
• Catering for the traditional wedding
• Decor for the traditional wedding venue
• Clothes for the traditional wedding
  I’m having some trouble here. Let me explain. My mother was Delta Igbo, she raised me and my father, whom i recently met and got acquainted with is Yoruba. He’ll be at my wedding but not in the usual “fatherly” capacity. So the dilemma is whether to dress as a Delta Igbo bride (George wrapper, blouse made from lace material and/or coral beads with a headtie) or a Yoruba bride (Iro and buba, made of aso oke and/or lace). I’ll decide soon but i’m leaning towards the Delta Igbo side.
• Wedding day transportation
• Make up artist
  I’ve narrowed my options here to 2 MUAs, should make a decision in the next few days.
• Photography
  I’ve also narrowed options here to 2 photogs and will make a decision in the next few days

All these decisions that need to be made will be made bearing in mind that the cermonies will be small and intimate and we will cut costs as much as possible. Yes, we have our work cut out for us. The next few months will be a rollercoaster, i know. I’m just going to try my best to enjoy it as much as i can. The light at the end of the tunnel is that at the end of this rigorous journey, i’ll be married to my sweetheart forever and we’re going to spend a beautiful happy life together. We’re going to have healthy, beautiful children who we’ll raise with oh so much love, watch them grow and watch them get married and raise their own children. Pure heaven. So yes. I can deal with a little wedding planning, the rewards are plenty.

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 2 – Venue woes

Now that I’m back in Lagos, wedding planning is in full effect. I don’t sound too enthused abi? Lemme say this again. Today is the 4th of June 2013 and our wedding is in about 80 days. We have to put together an introduction ceremony, traditional wedding, ceremony at our church and a reception in less than 3 months. Yes, not a lot of time AT ALL. I’m a bit overwhelmed. I cannot afford to have anything go wrong.

Mr V and i had talked about venues and other details and for the reception, we decided to go with an all inclusive one. The venue takes care of food, decor, cake, drinks and even the honeymoon suite for our wedding night. Complete win! Especially seeing as we both work full time so, quite frankly, neither of us has the time to chase numerous vendors. The fact that this venue allows us the luxury of eliminating at least 4 vendors, we knew we had to have it. No time or space for unnecessary headaches. We’d even gone there a while ago to see the hall, menu and all, it was right.

At this point, let me say, we are also trying to pull off the impossible. We are trying to have a small wedding in Lagos, Nigeria. Ha! If you’re Nigerian, or even know Nigerians, you know that this is almost impossible and definitely NOT going to be easy. First step to making sure of this was choosing a hall that cannot have more than 270 people. Our wedding will be strictly by invitation, only our nearest and dearest. We gave our families 50 guests each while we have 50 guests each also. Full stop. Case closed. Easy peasy abi? Not in the slightest. Wait and see.

I called our potential reception venue to discuss putting down a deposit for the date we wanted. Guess what? Our date was NOT AVAILABLE. I almost ran mad. Like, what was i really thinking?!?!?! Did i really expect that my dream venue would just be sitting down waiting for me on ice till i was ready to book it? What a joker i was! I almost cried. I literally almost had a meltdown on the phone, dude on the other end started consoling me. Then he let it slip that the group that booked the date hadn’t paid and they had till Monday of the next week to pay or the date would be open again. I stopped hyperventilating at this point because there was a chance, albeit tiny, that we’d get our venue. Mind you, it was Wednesday so i had about 6 days to wait before i would know. So the waiting began. I put down the deposit for the week after, as a tentative date, a plan B.

Started making concrete lists for wedding planning and it was at this point i realized that my main headache would come from planning the introduction and traditional wedding. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t even be my business. Ideally, those parts of the wedding process are organized by the bride’s parents. Seeing as my mother, the only parent i was raised by, passed away years ago, i have had to organize this part of the wedding with cousins, aunties and uncles, some of whom haven’t been the most helpful. To be completely fair,some have been great but others, not so much. And imagine how stressful it is asking 4 or 5 people who have “better” things to do for something as against 1 person who would have made this their main project. Does anyone want to guess how much i miss my mommy right now?

I feel like this a lot of the time

Anyway, I’m just going to chill and not over-think anything. Everything will go well, i know it.
Till i blog again…see ya

#MyWeddingPlanningJourney – Part 1 – Dress Shopping and I heart Pronovias

Let me start by saying I DID NOT ENJOY THIS! Like, i spend most of my weekday evenings watching “Say yes to the dress”. All the girls always look so cheery and jolly, like they’re walking on rainbows and eating candy floss with glitter in their hair. NOT ME. I WAS FOOLED! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Let me not be too dramatic. My experience was dreadful for 2 reasons. First, this is the middle of May and i’m getting married in August, so my dress options were GREATLY limited. I have to buy what’s available for sale in store and sort out any alterations i may need and secondly, usually, when i go shopping, i just see stuff i like in my size and buy it. When i get home and i don’t like it, i either sell it or give it away, hugely dependent on how much said item cost me. LOL. Not this time. In one day, i tried on like 15 dresses. I almost lost my mind! It took a lot from me…i can’t explain it.

I learnt something about wedding dress shopping and i learnt it the hard way. Before i got to the UK, i had a good idea what sort of wedding dress i wanted. Mermaid or trumpet style dress, fit and flare to hug my curves oh so nicely. None of that ball gown, A-line type mess for me, thank you sir! Oh was i in for a RUDE shock! None of the dresses i tried on in these styles fit me. Like NONE! Instead, it was the A-line dresses. Oh my goodness! They were BEAUTIFUL. I wonder how women who ordered their wedding dresses online felt after they received this supposed “dress of their dreams” to find out it wasn’t meant to be because i KNOW some women have ordered their dresses on the internet without first trying them on. I was actually going to do this. I can only imagine how crushed i woulda been *sigh*

Anyway, i went to 2 stores, one a day, and all i’m going to say is i’m glad i’m going to be married to my fiance forever. Because i cannot imagine doing this again. Full stop.
First dress i tried on at Teokath of London, Wimbledon was the Diosa by Pronovias and i absolutely fell in love with it. OH.MY.GOD. That dress is A DRESS and much more! Waaaaa, the fabric, the fit, it was perfect! Do you want to know what wasn’t perfect? The price tag! LOL. I tried it on, twirled and twirled, almost shed a tear, took a photo of myself in it…..and handed the dress back to the consultant. It was painful *sob*

Me in my darling Diosa

The Pronovias model in Diosa

And then i tried on the Platino by Pronovias. I absoluely loved it! But it was an absolutely bad idea to try on a dress that was above my budget first because nothing lived up to it. The Platino was another beautiful A line dress i was going to consider, within budget, but it didn’t make the cut. Blame the Diosa bias.

The Pronovias model in Platino

So i tried on a million other dresses, not a million sha, like 12, mostly Lusan Mandongus and Pronovias, found nothing that spoke to me and then i tried on the Grecia by Pronovias and it was perfect.

The Pronovias model in Grecia

I didn’t get it because i didn’t like the neckline. LOL. Simple. At this point, i was exhausted, i needed food so i headed out to Nando’s…my happy place.

Made an appointment for the next day at another bridal parlour, woke up bright and early, showered, had breakfast, put on a full face of make up and set out. Today, i was determined. I only had a few days before i had to return to Nigeria. I.DID.NOT.HAVE.TIME. I got to The Wedding Shop at Wimbledon Park and felt at home immediately. The first dress that caught my eye was the Diosa. Again! AGAIN! Tell me it wasn’t following me. I walked over to it, checked the price tag, lower than at Teokath but still above budget. Guess what i did… I WALKED AWAY! I pooled all the strength i had and i walked away from that Diosa. Whew. It wasn’t easy. But i did it. I did it.
I looked around, chose about 3 dresses, made sure to stay within my budget and got to trying them on. First was Bristol by Pronovias. Yet ANOTHER A line dress that looked absolutely amazing.

The Pronovias model in Bristol

At this point, i thought i’d found my dress…until i took it off and put on the 2nd dress. In my mind, i knew i was home! I tried the 3rd dress on, just to be sure but it paled in comparison. It paled so badly, i don’t even remember the name or who it was by. It was a beautiful dress but it wasn’t mine. Dress 2 was my dress. I was home.

This is the store where i bought my dress. The consultant, Natalie, was just wonderful and made me feel right at home. We talked about everything from her son to Nigerian jollof rice to Arsenal FC. LOL

LOL, i’m just glad that dress shopping didn’t take me longer than 2 days because, quite frankly, ain’t nobody gat time for that. So that’s my dress shopping journey and it might be important to mention that my dress is not by Pronovias. LOL, who woulda thunk it?!?! I bought the dress as is and will be doing alterations in Nigeria. Will also buy a veil in Nig. #MyWeddingPlanningJourney continues

Yay!!!

This is a late post. Scratch that. This is a VERY late post. Considering this happened a while ago. Without further ado….
I’M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!

Over the next few days… or weeks… or months, i’ll blog the planning process. Let’s just say, to stay true and consistent, i have A LOT of blogging to do. God help me. In the mean time, this GIF is exactly how i feel. LOL